This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Schools

Separation Anxiety

I see an unfortunate trend in my friends that I think has to do with the approaching reality of life after high school

As I do most weekends, I spent this Friday evening hanging out with my friends, hot tubbing, playing Dance Central and chatting. I enjoyed the time greatly but noticed that something was different.

It wasn’t the faces or the personalities (although there was a delightful new addition to our group, the cousin of one of my close friends), nor was it the activities or the enthusiasm for fun. The main difference in our interactions Friday and over the course of this school year is that we are all beginning to pull away from each other little by little.

This trend is seen in the increasing amount of Facebook posts that call for a revival of friendships and an imminent invitation to hang out (“We need to hang out like ASAP, I miss you!!" etc.), the way conversations are less geared toward future plans with each other and more toward college plans and aspirations.

Find out what's happening in Hopkinswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

While these seem like ways of bonding, the Facebook messages are generally insincere and the conversation about college is no more than a cliché filler to simply pass time.

My friends are no longer as close as even a year ago. Two of my closest friends, who were in a two-year relationship, recently broke up. Although they are still friends, they are certainly not the same destined- for- marriage couple that I was accustomed to knowing.

Find out what's happening in Hopkinswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

I have also watched as two of my other friends, who were very close and had one of the longest friendships of our group, began to pull apart due to tension  after they had a large dispute.  

Most personally, I have fallen apart from a close friend of mine. On Thursday, that friend, who lives in northern Minnesota, visited and I spent the evening with her and some others. Less than a year ago, she and I were very close, and I even took her as my date to prom. But over time, we simply stopped talking consistently.

While I had a good time Thursday, it was the not the same as last year and I did not have as much to say to her. As I thought about the evening, I realized that there have been significant changes in the interactions of my peers.

All or some of these instances may be coincidences between people around me, but it seems strange that such a large number of the people connected to me seem to be distancing themselves from one another.

Perhaps we are just growing bored or annoyed with each other. Maybe we are looking for more personal space. Or possibly, and I think most likely, we are preparing for the inevitable separation that will come after high school.

I believe we are bracing ourselves to be removed from the people who mean the most to us, putting up a sort of defense mechanism to thwart the feeling of let down that will come with leaving behind the people and places we know best.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?