A Father's View

Jacob’s senior year is racing by now. The big decisions have been made: college, major, housing. I feel Jacob did well in identifying what his true interests are and in evaluating colleges that fit. The J-school (journalism school) at KU wins. 

I was able to go on several college visits with him. I was impressed with the way he represented himself in the meetings with college representatives—how he asked questions about things important to him and not just superficial stuff. He truly tried to learn about school traditions, student life and academic support. That is why I am confident he has made good choices. 

Throughout this there have been times of tension—usually related to how I expected or wanted things done versus how and when Jacob would do them. I think I felt more urgency in getting the paperwork done. I tried to keep in mind that this is all new for an 18 year old and these are big decisions—inherently stressful ones. When I pushed too much, I usually got the rebuttal, “See, this is why I want to leave.”  Understandable.  But it looks like everything is going to work out fine.   

So I feel that the “work” part is almost over. Now will come the emotional part of letting go—hoping that the values instilled in him will guide him well, trusting that his many good traits will shine, praying for good friends and relationships, rooting for Jayhawk championships. It’s hard to predict what our relationship will be like once he moves. We will probably only see him at holidays or extended school breaks. I wonder how much we will communicate. 

The “Bottom of the 12th” has been great in the sense that it gives me more insight to the things on his mind. I think it has led him to really contemplate the changes coming—saying goodbye to friends, being on his own and accountable, balancing a busy life. 

Jacob says he is a procrastinator. But I see him as motivated: He achieves very good grades, works three jobs, started the student manager role for the lacrosse team and makes time for his friends and to follow his sports teams.  

I can tell he is much more prepared than I was when I went off to college. I know Jacob will do well on this next adventure.  I hope he always looks back fondly on “home.”