At Patch, we sift through the various crime reports to focus on the biggest cases—typically felonies or misdemeanors that somehow reflect on larger trends.

Then again, sometimes we run across an incident that’s just too humorous to pass up.

That was the case when I got the latest batch of charging documents Wednesday. Amid the collection of misdemeanors was a charge that stood out for the graphic detail with which the officer recorded the verbal abuse a 28-year-old Hopkins woman hurled upon him.

The officer, who was “familiar with (the woman) from a prior offense,” ticketed her brother for marijuana possession after an Aug. 11 traffic stop. Although the men in the vehicle had already admitted smoking marijuana, the woman allegedly launched into a tirade that included the following gems, all lovingly recorded in the court documents:

• “Oh that some (expletive), they can’t do that (expletive), how they gonna give you a (expletive) ticket.”
• “These cops are racists, dirty Hopkins cops. I got a lawyer investigating these dirty cops.”
• “You can’t (expletive) do that (expletive), you don’t know (expletive) you racist cops."
• “What the (expletive), you can’t do that, l can say whatever I want, I ain’t getting no ticket.”
• “This is (expletive), you didn’t see (expletive) on me fam, you need to get your ass beat, you racist as hell."
• “You damn right he racist, I still got my license, you didn’t do (expletive) against me at court, I didn’t pay (expletive), you put that weed on him just because he has my last name, I hate cops, you are an (expletive), that other cop was nice-until you came over, then he was an (expletive) just to match you.”
• “I will see (you) in court.”
• “You racist (expletive).”

Officers warned the woman to cool it several times, but she ignored their requests (see above: “l can say whatever I want”). Perhaps not surprisingly, she’s now facing a disorderly conduct charge, which carries a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Follow us on Twitter | Like us on Facebook | Sign up for our free daily newsletter